I am spending my work day planning my weekend drinking schedule
He told me his mother taught him that move. What the hell do I say to that?
you don't understand, he speaks spanish and is tall. i have to do him.
I pretty much just threw a bunch of clothes and my vodka in a bag..idk where I'm gonna end up tonight but I'm prepared.
So I thought the party was crazy before his pinky came off...
Please tell me you've ingested more than weed and Oreos today
Breakfast Clubbing as Juggalos. I can feel our IQs in freefall.
I fell asleep masterbating while watching family guy... This is what happens when girl's night gets canceled
Less than a month to graduation and I'm still blacking out on the reg tonguing down the closest breathing organism preferably with a penis but I'm flexible, and still havent figured out how to be functional on Fridays. WHY don't they teach us valuable shit at this institution!?
You and your vagina are hellbent on selfdestruction and bad decisions
Dude...can we put that on a tshirt? I will totally sport that shit.
OH MY GOD! I CAN FEEL A PULSE IN MY BALLS IT HURTS! ITS LIKE MINI FEMINIST NINJAS ARE ATTACKING MY BALLS!!!
Homophobes nationwide are huddled in their bunkers tonight and I can't stop giggling. Could be the wine.
You've lost booty call privileges between the hours of 10pm and 8am.
The cops high fived after they tackled you
I a very close black and white picture of my slightly erect penis and I blew it up put it in an art gallery for a show coming up and somebody bought it for 30 Grand!!!
Randomize