I'm sorry that you just had your first misguided homo experience
Bleh. If he hadn't ascended into heaven and sat at the right hand of the father, Jesus would be rolling over in his grave right now.
He was legit dry humping me to the sportscenter theme song, awkward i think SO.
I kind of feel like guidos are mythical creatures.
he walked in on you at the party drunkenly dancing alone on the bed wearing mardi gras beads, sunglasses, and using one ski pole as a microphone.... and you STILL got laid. i dont get your life.
as soon as I walked into work this morning, my boss called me out on my hangover, patted me on the back and said I'm getting time an a half for even showing up. Did I really look that bad this morning?
the general consensus of people in the room is that i should have another bottle of wine.
"people in the room" being me.
Some guy just bought a handle of cuervo, a curling iron, and a power drill. Paid with a jar of change. I'm torn between avoiding him and befriending him..
So I thought the party was crazy before his pinky came off...
It's like some sort of initiation to finger one of them... so I did it. And got high fived afterwards like a dozen times.
Those were right hand only?
Hey, you can't rush the perfect creeper shot. I need buffer time to hone my skills.
Is it bad that I've been making new friends through your vagina networking? I don't think so
Well. I had to explain to my niece that the word cunt is not an abbreviation for country. I'm the best aunt in the world.
Day one of being single and I've came three times. I can get used to this.
Sometimes, it’s important to take a moment and kinkshame yourself.
Randomize
