i wish i could watch tv and lissten to music at the same time...but still understand both
i think otters can do that
Drawing dicks in the frost on people's windshields is a rare joy I allow myself while walking to my 8 AM class.
At a St Pats house party. Just raised $110 for two short chicks to crawl into a dog cage together. Video forthcoming. Respect.
After three games of beer pong ending in victory by death cup, all four of us bonded in the fact that we all slept with the girl's boyfriend at some point in time in the past year. She had no idea.
Ssssssssssshhhhhhhhhhhiiiiiiii!iiiiiiiiiitttttttttttttttssssssssssssshhhhhhhhooooooooowwwwwww. Letters for emphaSSIIISISEEEE!
Remember that pineapple I soaked in vodka last month? Just found it- nothing is growing on it? Think it's safe?
He needs to stop telling me how much he respects me. What does that even mean
Yaaaayyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyy! It has more than one y so my intentions to sleep with you after the drink special ends are clear
Toppless hop-scotch needs to become a competitive sport
He called my vagina "the man cave", and I found it charming
please tell dad to clear the porn off his tablet before he lends it to anyone from now on
Where is Holly?
Nevermind. i can hear her having sex two doors down
And then he served me a piece of a brownie on his dick. It tasted amazing. Such a good night!
We get up to three toppings. Dignity is not one of them.
just woke up and had to check if i still had pants on, i really need to stop drinking
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