What's proper 1 nite stand etiquette?
Say hi to his dad and make him some breakfast.
you need to do more things constructive for your career. like wearing pants more often.
I've spent 9 hours vomitting in the fetal position... how did i stay like this for 9 months?
We were hooking up, both of us naked. She starts putting her clothes back on and says, "I have to go to the bathroom." I reply, "No you don't, you're leaving." Without hesitation she looks at me and says, "Yeah."
Im going home to examine my vagina with a hand mirror. wish me luck.
After I gave him a handjob for a half an hour he told me I should be a taxidermist. I'm gonna take it as a compliment.
Just did ten shots in 8.34 minutes........ Slowly getting over the loss
Im also drinking whiskey while on a treadmill wearing high heels so let's consider that for a moment.
When we were done making out, some guy ran into the room yelling, "I'll save you Brandon! I'll save you!"
We kept trying to bring you to the hospital but you had a tantrum and kept saying you would never be Miss America
I resisted the temptation to hold the cake in one hand to alternate bites with the ruffles I was eating. I decided that might make me look dysfunctional.
I know he's not here, but I can still see him. I found some of my old stash and its good shit so its expected to see sunlight at night and scary llama men. Midgets or otherwise.
He uses Bing as his search engine...but he's great in bed. So obviously I'm torn.
Thank you for holding my butt in a non-sexual manner when its cold. I appreciate you and your warm hands.
He said watch this and then went and tripped into a group of 40 year old women, now he's leaving the club with them.
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