the thought of Anne Coulter teabagging Dick Cheney kills me everytime.
That should be a holiday. like easter. but bulges instead of baskets
how are you gonna miss the world cup? other than the olympics it's our last way to assert our dominance over China after this economic bull shit
Between cock and motorcycle I'm glad I don't have to sit at work tomorrow
Apparantly 7 1/2 Vicodin is a 1/2 too many.
she was using bread to soak up the vodka off the floor then proceeded to eat it.
The kid that passed out is still in the bathtub filled with ice and the empties
I owe a guy a shoe because I threw it over a fence. That is all.
Why do I even exist?
Kyle found me outside his apartment in the hallway. Said he didn't hear me knock bt smelled alcohol through the door. I'm sucha bitch to my liver
Did I send you a naked snap the other day with a fat blunt in my mouth with the caption "$1200 bitches!" ?
You're doing screenings before you set me up again- no child sized dicks allowed.
I think I fucked someone on the flight home last night.
I think you might be the first man ever to describe getting a blowjob as "neat"
I mean I faked it but he could answer my texts
Weight watchers just said "you've tracked beer three times recently, want to make it one of your favorites?" I'm begining to understand why I needed to go in the first place.
Randomize
