Omfg I am plowed. Had drinks with 3 milfs. Going out on their boat tomorrow. They want to show me how buoyant they are.
Why can't we have signs that automatically flash on our foreheads that say not interested when gross ugly guys come around, like those glasses that get dark when the sun comes out?
giving a blow job on a jetski isn't as easy as it sounds.
16 and pregnant actually makes me really happy that i'm gay
No she hasen't showed up to my place yet, last I heard she was puking as she was walking without stopping near the park.
Ya,, he does have virgin eyes. Thats a real thing you know...
I got to find out the airplane alcohol limit, and somehow I made it through the flight.
yea im pretty sure it has something do with my love of forearms...
he told her he was actually impressed that she had fucked more people in this house than the four dudes living in it.
The silhouette of his dick looked like an eagle. Amurrican.
The 12 year old son winked and made eyes at me while his father fed me vodka gummy bears. Gameday yo
It started as ''I want a romantic life right now'' text. It ended with pool table sex.
You are one of my favorite baseball you have fun today
Is it bad that if I found out I couldn't have kids I'd be more pissed that I've been using unnecessary condoms than the fact that I'll never be a mother?
he said he only had one rule...that he'd only go down on me 3x a day. so far this is turning into the best relationship ever.
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