I sometimes wonder how many of the girls I know have done anal...and why none of them have ever dated me.
im over her. I got weed and youtube. everything i could ever ask for.
He puked on the grill while the burgers were on. We had to go to taco bell
not the best booty call
did she squirt?
only if tears count
Dude, for your own safety, do not bring that chick home. I'm pretty sure you're going to find a marsupial pouch smuggling a fresh batch of herpes under that hoodie. Bail bail bail bail bail.
Your engaged. Stop telling guys you will sit on their face. They don't always know your kidding.
I can't in good conscience help you bag a Catholic girl who isn't at least a 7.
If he's the sort of guy that will fuck in a public restroom, he's the sort of guy that will cheat on his gf. I'm goin for it.
I wasn't trying to be rude when I hurriedly walked past you, but I can not put in to words exactly how bad I had to shit.
apparently my new 420 ritual is to look at the clock at 4:20 and realize i'm already too high
he wouldnt let me in bed until i took off all the stickers i was covered in
My mom comes home from her weekend with her lesbian co-workers and asks "You wanna know how I got these bruises?" I've never been more torn about anything EVER.
It's like jay gatsby himself preordained that our genitals meet again.
These are the last few fleeting sober moments of the day for me. If there is anything you need me to do today, please tell me now
i love how you, my friend, sends me a picture of herself wearing a shirt that says "i am dead inside" and i'm just like "awww baby you're so cute"
that's just solidarity
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