New first...just saw an entire family of homeless hitch hikers...kids and all. God, i love Oklahoma!
IS FOOTBALL GONNA SUCK HIS DICK? NO, IT IS NOT
I'm sad your dog died... Her name is my stripper name.
Forgot to mention...Pamela Anderson has HPV, so i feel like im in good company
knew i was gonna lose at a shoe or be bleeding at some point. and both happened within 20 mins.
Yes. Yes. Double yes. I'll bring the tits. You bring the frosting.
He gave me four orgasms and I kept yelling "Thank you!" and he kept replying, "My pleasure!"
Midwestern nice.
Im going to be coked out with hello kitty fire arms. Valentines day can suck my dick
Running errands with mom, cool. Coming to pleasures with mom for her valentines night, not ever in a million years cool.
Would it be weird to jack off in the hospital?
So "I hate myself Mondays" has extended to Tuesday this week. I just had peanut butter and a glass of wine for lunch.
We drunkenly built a couch fort and fucked in it. I've known her since preschool. This was every childhood fantasy mixed with adult dreams come true.
i just hope we're both dead or in prison at the same time
So, I ran into Garrett last night in the laundry room.
Oh really? First post break-up run in. How'd it go? Awkward?
Um. We had sex on a washing machine.
Tell me I'm drunk and you have to come get me. It's usually true. They'll believe you.
Randomize