You did that once after drunk driving from a photo shoot
That was very cool/italian of you
Which brings me to my next point, how come italians are so well adapted to drunk driving
I mean I can't believe yesterday ended w/ your house getting firebombed. What an unexpected turn of events
Asian chick on skype stripping for me. Hold on give few min
I'm at the store buying plan b and vodka
the cocktail of hope
Before we started fucking, he laid me on the bed, and asked my what my sleep number was, so that i would be "comfy"
He took naked pictures of me and told me if I ever got to the Disney Channel level of fame he would help me out. I think i'm in love
Hahahaha you would not believe what I just pulled out of my vagina. Actually you probably wouldn't be surprised.
Did you get any last night. I need to track my forever aloneness
dude you had a hot girl interested and took shots together, as soon as it went down the hatch you upchucked on her entire existance..
successful birthday. 2012 rules
He puked in the voicemail. That's a true friend right there.
I thought he was being really sweet and protective when he pulled me away from the guy i was hooking up with, but turns out he just wanted me to get chicken nuggets with him...
no, I didn't go in the end. Too hungover and hot, plus Star Wars is on so obviously I'm having a naked day.
Yeah we were on bar number 7 on our bike trail and you decided to steal my bike and we found you 20 minutes later eating Cheetos in the shallow end of your parents pool
And then she said "welcome homeeeee!!!" As she got off. Best thing about being back from Afghanistan
the girl next to me was drawing sonic the hedgehog on her exam what the fuck
godspeed
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