i'm starting to get pissed at how pandora is trying to force coldplay on me
my vag is singing 'hurts so good' by john mellencamp
If there is ever a next time, care about me enough to lube it up no matter what my drunk ass says
kill, fuck, marry: alice cullen, hermione granger, ginny weasley.
damn... fuck alice for sure, I feel bad but i think I have to say marry ginny... and kill hermoine! I can't believe I'm answering this right now.
i didnt like the question options for my yahoo account..so i made up the question and it was "favorite bathroom to shit in"
i lost my life and panties somewhere between the 15th and 16th round of slap the bag.
I don't know what kind of soup they made, but it smells like condoms.
Her idea of kinky involved a tazer
wtf?
I'm going back tonight
He's not actually Jewish. Turns out he just wears the yarmulke to cover his bald spot.
stalking the twitter feeds of girls who have fucked my current fuck buddy makes me glad we use condoms
I went full Overly Attached Girlfriend. You never go full OAG.
After owing so much in back child support they should make vasectomy a mandatory
You were throwing cups at people in the basement, yelling at them to get out of your swamp.
Sometimes I think he has a hidden camera in my vagina so he knows what I'm doing and saying at all times...
Okay, maybe filling water balloons with vodka was not our best idea.
Randomize
