So A**** bought my story about how my hickey was a bruise from wrestling
on one hand i'm glad that i'm not in trouble...on the other hand i realized that the reason i cheat on her is because she is so stupid
He had one of those small greek statue penises
you know i'm gay cause i'd have sex with lady gaga. what straight man would say that?
yea man just watch out- theres a shitload of broken glass in your bed
He yelled "juice on the loose", yes i am sure i need plan b
i woke up next to a ladle and a packet of chocolate biscuits that my face had melted into one giant biscuit.
If this wasn't a work function my tits would be out already.
I'm eating a piece of cake like an apple. At least my thought process is healthy.
It started with jello shots. It ended with tears.
Dude. I legit missed class because I got too engrossed in the porn I was watching. Also I need to figure out how to get as flexible as these chicks. Some of the positions they do are outrageous.
Well, it's a fine line between people-watching and boob-staring. It's a gray area. But we're in Paris. Let's leave it at that.
HE HAS CHALLENGED MY BADNESS. I MUST CONQUER ALL THAT QUESTIONS MY POWER. BRING FORTH THE TIT PICS.
I thought you couldn't go near Germans after that restraining order
I gave your mom a discount on her coffee, its my way to say thanks for having a son that makes me come every time
I just had mom give me advice about how and where to store my lube in my shower. It was super awkward. Of course, she also walked in on me masturbating once so I guess turnabout is fair play
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