So I said to her: one time i broke my dick and when they took off the cast i could cum across a baseball field
out of nowhere you said let us see your boobs, then proceeded to pull my shirt down.
i gets down
Brutally Honest is my real middle name, Princess just sounds better.
Also, I just saw a woman change into her stripper outfit in the bathroom at Target.
We left the window open. My vibrators funeral is at 2ish.....bring a side dish or some shit.
We're trying to leave but amy's hitting on the guy who mans the nacho cart
I just puked so hard I pissed myself. Outta my ass. I just won hangover of the century.
I asked him how his night was and he sent me a picture of a bottle of Ciroc with a bendy straw...
Dave, I love you but you're barking up the wrong lesbian. You sir are the competition. You don't threesome with competition.
So you get idea of what my night was like, I woke up this morning and the back of my head was orange
I just love that it's Veterans Day because I know in my heart that I have serviced some of their brethren in the dirtiest, hottest, most shameful ways possible.
It's a little hazey but I think I tried to request Nelly last night. There was no dj. Not sure who I was talking to
I don't think I'm ever gonna need a boyfriend again. I have a body pillow, a vibrator, and I'm strong enough to open my own jars.
I think about him when I masturbate so I guess you could call it love
I'd say I was is in rare form last night but it's becoming pretty common.
Randomize
