You look at her and you just know the only action she's gotten is from her tampon..
He wanted a quickie. I said, can I play doodle jump on my iPhone during? And that's exactly how it went.
She kept saying my hands are a cupcake factory
she has an amazing ass but I need more beers to get past her horse face. It works out perfect becauseI can use her teeth as a bottle opener.
I woke up naked on my futon with a blanket half way covering my ass and 20 half eaten chicken wings on my chest... At 7 pm... That kind of day drinking
That's awesome and prob the first time you had an idea of what to do. I'm super proud of you Chelz
Its cos im stoned ! My high self is maturing
Hey its me your friend who impressed the pharmacist by already knowing the generic version of plan b by name
I AM HANGING OUT WITH ADORABLE DOGS SURROUNDED BY NATURE. GOD BLESS AMERICA AND ALSO BYE CIVILIZATION AND PANTS.
Are you at a park?
Oh, cold wet seat on the 48! Are you piss? Are you the sweaty ass leavings of an obese person? Are you the spilled King Cobra from the night before? I do not know! I dare not smell to find out... Pants ruined...
High-fiving last weekend's hook up in passing on the way to class has given me quite the lady boner.
I told my manager I was trying to conserve my energy for date night/Sexual Olympics later. That's legit for another break, right?
I woke up on the green space outside our dorm cradling a watermelon and sucking my thumb. College is crazy man.
just because i'm not a monk anymore doesn't mean I need to tell you about my new sex life.
which is fantastic by the way.
11:30pm - Shots together. 12:15pm Shots together. 12:45pm Shots together. 9:30am Plan B's together.
Its like people have to train for months before they try and drink with us and survive...
Randomize
