He asked me to grab his balls and yell "thats a spicy meat-a-ball" Last time I do requests.
Im going home to examine my vagina with a hand mirror. wish me luck.
No. Do you know how much this carpet cost? If she comes over, you put down towels this time. i'm so not kidding.
This is how we made chicken soup last night: Whole chicken in a pot of vodka with a box of crackers and some carrots. We should go pro.
1. They have gold fish races every wednesday. 2. They have a redbull vodka slushie. We need to visit this place.
1. My fish will beat your fish. 2. Were getting fucked up
Just hit a cone using a lit sparkler. Tastes like I might die but it was magical.
I think the multiple Sunday morning sirens outside my window are a plot by the cops to get back at me for the shit we pulled last night. Or I should move to a better area.
just filed my taxes drunk as balls. i may be going to jail.
He's afraid of heights. How do I know, you ask? Blowjob on his roof.
She fell down no less than 4 times while we were at the club. One of which was while she was in the bathroom stall next to me.
Judging by the fact that he asked me if i wanted to serenade him using cocaine and Taylor Swift I'd say I so have it in the bag.
Nothing says casual like stairwell bjs
You can't just say you're dying of terminal cancer everytime they try to card you
I'm not sure how to explain it, but I feel like our penises have a connection. Like long lost brothers. We're not even gay.
might I remind you I fucked a 21 year old and almost did coke with strangers? you definitely came out on top
Randomize
