you want me
i'd rather choke on a dick.
I hope you have a really shitty weekend. I love you.
turns out they were just sand fleas, not crabs.. thank you random mexican girl from padre who's name i can't pronounce
Shaving your vagina at 8 months pregnant is not an easy chore.
I smell like gasoline and adventure.
Scary truckers and hobos. These are the men I attract
Just woke up and spent the first hour of consciousness throwing up with the Rocky theme song on repeat.
I tolerate his mediocre drunk sex for the mind blowing morning sex. More than worth it.
Wow. Last night.
I knew you were shit blasted when you called me your "sunflower queen"
I hung my underwear from the tree in his front yard. Consider my territory marked.
I just got a text from a guy. The python is ours if we want.
I also woke up in a bed soaked of pee and drunkenly lectured him on the dangers of chewing tobacco... weird night
Write this down so you can tell me in the morning. "That bartender needs to be in my mouth."
You have my heart. You only share my vagina.
Social anxiety problems: I just had to get up and change stalls mid-poop because someone sat down in the one next to mine.
Randomize