I just found out I have a small penis.
Couldn't you tell by how you've NEVER had a girlfriend?
i now know how you feel when you have to walk me home. she ran into a streetlight and into garbage.
So the waitress at the Chinese Buffet totally just said "Adios" to a Hispanic couple. There's something you don't see every day.
Just got kicked in the balls by a girl in tap shoes. Fuck EVERYTHING
Walk of shame... his parents made me go to church with them first. in my club top sweat pants and slippers. i just slapped god in the face
i am literally watching eva make a trashbag diaper for you to sleep in tonight. whole new level of low for you.
Every time I get scared about the fact that I'm falling for him I remember that he juggles and is hung like a mastadon and everything is a-ok.
tell your freshman friends. will trade sexual favors for swipes. ive got dinner tomorrow open and lunch on wed
Got in a bar fight defending Prince. Thought you ought to know. He gets his dick sucked cooking eggs for breakfast.
You were walking around in your swim suit, an open robe, snow boots and a death grip on that handel of captain morgan.
They made the rule if I caught the ball with my cleavage they would drink the entire beer pong table. I don't think they expected me to actually do it.
sooo the guy I beat last night in strip pong is the manager's husband at my new job...
You are driving me to get new toys, i am test driving them on the way home.
We are taking your truck.
Oh shit. My bra is undone and I'm pretty sure I peed on my sandal
Come on in and take your pants off
Randomize
