And, I saw Emily's panties. How? She doesn't sit like a lady.
I'm watching tv and he's trying to stick a vibrator in my ass
I asked my mother if she peed on that chair, she said "not bad" There is no good level of pee on a chair.
I think that's the first time i've seen 'you look like an ugly version of my ex' work as a pickup line
I just googled if crying burns calories
You slammed your face into the toilet and declared you were moving your bed into the bathroom in the morning. Also, you insisted on crawling everywhere because feet are "overrated."
THESE BITCHES NOT IN MY MAJOR BETTER NOT FILL UP MY SLAVIC FAIRYTALES CLASS
Should I have spent my entire pay check on Crown Royal and LSD? No. Do I regret it? Also, no.
I'm hiding in the bathroom at the library but there are children here I just want to drunk cry in peace
I'm just drunk enough to be eating egg rolls on the toilet
Yep that's the face of someone whose dick I would put in my mouth without hesitation
Don’t say some truly stupid shit like that to me. In a kitchen. Where the knives are kept
hey, so i dont know your name. but im guessing we had sex last night. seeing that you're in my phone as "had sex time thursty thursday guy"
Booze, boobs, blunts and batman. dude, I'm livin' the life.
Dude I had my dad cock block me once
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