Im already sauced. Have been for hours. Its kinda my thing.
I dont know if he should be happy or mad about it but he's too big for a blow job.
it's sunday funday. and also, who can outslut the other day.
yeah, she started doing yoga and cocaine....looks good on her.
Apparently 'check out this motherfucker' is not an appropriate greeting to use in the vicinity of sitting united states senators. Who knew
Think of it this way, instead of a puppy, we're getting a baby.
YOU ARE TAKING ADVANTAGE OF MY INEBRIATED STATE
YOU ARE DRUNK AND USED AND SPELLED THE WORD "INEBRIATED" CORRECTLY. I AM TAKING ADVANTAGE OF NOTHING.
I CAN'T HELP THAT I'M MULTITALENTED YA FUCKER
Apparently at 2 AM I decided to let the world know about my newfound love for elephants
I'm almost positive that you shat in a birdhouse
Day drinking! Today! (tomorrow too!) Our place! Whenever you get off work! Ready go!
Also this time, I didn't have a random creepy guy come up from behind me, grab my junk, and whisper "where's the cocaine?" in my ear. So that's also a win.
I don't want to jinx anything but I may have found the one.
Cat or human?
Human
It's like I'm getting a welcome home parade with sex!
Is it day drinking when the suns up like when does that start
asking for a friend
do you know of a way I can die but like NOT die? like not being unconcious, just ascending to an astral plane for a few weeks or months in real world time so i can sort my issues out away from the rigors of life kinda deal, you know?
Randomize
