why is it that everytime a half black man enters something boring, it suddenly becomes sexy to people? golf? the presidency?
This is my last and worst hangover of the decade...I almost cherrish it
So am i just your go-to 'i found a tick on my penis' number?
can I come stay the night
yeah, but no sex tonight
I'll stay home
I was wondering where I've seen this kid then I remembered I saw him doing lines of blow of his gf's leg while she was sleeping last week.
You are the worst substitute drug dealer ever
i was laying in her brothers bed, in his old room. and i kept getting the chills. i didn't know if it was a draft or the ghosts of BJ's past.
Just finished putting caution tape around the tv. Sober me needs to prepare.
This has been the most pleasant arrest experience I've ever had.
Dude this deaf chick is totally hot, I just bought an apartment on boner ave
The US State Dept doesn't need to know I'm a high strung drunken whore.
By the power invested in me i promise you hot wedding sex at my wedding.
It's six am and her daughter just walked in on her mom and roomful of naked people playing strip spoons. glad Im apart of that childhood memory....
Come get your pancakes and take a nap in my boobs.
Showing girls my stab wound was not the brilliant idea I thought it was.
Randomize
