I need a slap back to reality. Or at least a slap back to homosexuality
dinner at cheesecake factory: $40. drinks at yard house: $50. having sex in the VG parking lot while people are staring at you awkwardly: priceless. Goodnight.
it's just weird having a massive boner in the morning when you could have used it the night before.
I'm at the house listening to vengaboys alone. Please come home.
i have more money on itunes than i do in my bank account... college.
When the cops knocked on the door, he just knocked back and announced "house keeping"
Cause your way of greeting people at the club was grabbing a tit and jiggling it while yelling a name, which usually wasn't theirs, and guys weren't safe either.
Either you got hacked or we need to have a serious discussion about sending penis enlargement emails to your straight friends and why you shouldn't. It sends the wrong message.
Last night I woke up and the national rep of his frat was sucking my toe.
I needed 3am water. Not 3am shots of rum.
he fucked me wearing a cowboy hat and made grits after
We call him Texas for a reason.
i peed in the parking lot at work not even thinking, a woman saw
I can hear the pillow talk now, "how many condoms did you bring? Good, put them all on,"
just because i'm not a monk anymore doesn't mean I need to tell you about my new sex life.
which is fantastic by the way.
Woke up with a $100 bill from the Philippines in my bra & an unopened box of sour patch kids next to me. I have some questions.
Randomize