I've spent too much of my life staring at my bberry and counting to 5 to see if it blinks
The look your mother gives you when she sees you masterbating on web cam is unlike any I've seen before, but this is a case where, I would say, ignorance is bliss.
they said they heard you say put it in my butt
he said he "kind of had sex before.. Barely" i think it was one of those situations where you slide into home and get tagged out.
Is she bent over a couch yet or did daylight savings time throw off her usual schedule?
He bought me a flower. He's totally getting head every day for a week.
i found her half dressed with her feet in the washer..she said it was sooo warm.
Briing, briiing- tricycle ridden. Where is my crown?
You picked up her frozen vom puddle and threw it like a frisbee.
Drinking vodka straight from my water bottle because of the debate. I just need to forget.
Oh my god he's laying on a longboard singing the song from cool runnings.
I am. I woke up on someone's front lawn dressed as max Payne also be proud.
Is it weird that I was turned on when he told me he had a vasectomy?
I knew you two would hit it off
My son's girlfriend just thanked me for having good penis genes.
He's so drunk that he's ignoring me and just doing what my cat does.
Oh god he's trying to eat cat food... I don't know if I should stop him or continue laughing....
Randomize
