Sorry I totally forgot to text you back. When you texted me I was at work at the pharmacy and it was stupid busy. And then of course I had my 8 hour "shoot me b/c half of Loyola comes in to buy plan B" shift.
i just bought ciggarettes using my court citation as id. I've reached an all time low.
I wonder what it would be like to masturbate in space
when she said she would show you her other bow, she ment she wanted you to bend her over and see the tattoo on her lower back you idiot
unlike you, ive never imagined darth vader masturbating
When his Irish accent comes out my uterus hums. Or some productive organ down there, I'm not sure of the logistics
I have mastered the 3 minute room cleaning drill in preparation for the nights possible slam-piece
Wow. I feel like a bad friend. My fuckbuddy wished you a happy birthday before I did. The reality of that just hit me.
i'll probably be on drugs forewarning
forewarning i'll probably have done those drugs with you
Denis dont give a fuck, Denis drinks out of straws. Denis disregards the fire station & bought 18 fire hoses so he can fight it himself if the farmhouse is on fire.
After the party last night, I dreamt I continued drinking... Apparently my subconscious didn't think I'd had enough...
I take to many stalker pics of him. If he ever looks through my phone he'll never give me sex again :(
damnit. I just found my cousin on tinder.
Is it bad I'm drunk at orientation
You've been there for 12 hours, what are you supposed to be doing
Not be drunk
Yes, ur purse got stole with our condo keys in it but my slut ass saved us and we had a place to stay, AND I got to choke a motherfucker while riding him. Thats taking one for the team.
Randomize
