Are we still dressing up as garden gnomes for halloween?
No. I would like to get laid again before I graduate.
There was blood everywhere. She was pretty good looking person though.
decision: in honor of being in new orleans this weekend all my drunk texts will be en francais
After a certain point, you just want to make it work. Prove to yourself that you're smarter than the vibrator.
I was all over the place but at every locale you would pop out of nowhere and hand me a huge drink and say "HAMMERED"
I am the fairy godmother of the drink.
Seriously! We need to take her a thank you note or something. She puts up with the drugs and the extremely loud sex. She deserves a thank you card.
Just ate a gummy bear I found in my sheets. So yeah, 2013 is SO gonna be my year.
It was less of a bar, and more of an abandoned basement that some people sell booze in.
The DJ was throwing glowsticks into the crowd and managed to smack one guy in the face with them
Apparently I have decided there are no repercussions for my actions
I think she tried to suffocate me with her tits...she almost succeeded.
I just want to bone him one last time before he moves across the country with his new (average looking) girl friend.
Just found out the last guy I hooked up with is being held in a federal prison under suspicion of stealing 175k.
tell him if he brings over dinner you might let him see your left boob...or right, whichever you prefer. But under no circumstances do you let him see both...unless he brings a good desert...like coffee ice cream or something
You spilled your drink, and we laughed so hard my boobs popped out of my shirt.
Randomize
