I woke up and my panties were thumbtacked to his wall. Out of my reach.
this just has baby written all over it
I had it in my eyebrows, my bangs, under one eye, and across both cheeks. Congratulations on the successful and elusive warpaint cumshot.
She looked at me and said there is a 90% chance I am going to puke in the next 10 minutes. 10 minutes later she is in jack in the box throwing up. She has amazing timing.
Well as our DD it was my responsibility to get us home safely. If that meant strapping you down to the backseat using all 3 seatbelts then so be it.
Whoever I saved in my phone as "Jackpot" last night has your keys.
I come back home for break and my room is full of weed either my parents really love me or they are having more fun then I am in college
I made $80 at the club last night by telling him he was like a wild pony and I just wanted to tame him
Wrapped in a blanket, just ate a whole party pizza. All my dreams are coming true and you don't even care.
I know my whole body feels like I belly flopped onto concrete. Seriously need to tone it down for a while
What i love about my dog is i can lay in bed and masturbate with him at the foot, and he just leaves me alone.
I have a terrible feeling that I made out with a fraternity last night
I am buying anal lube, an enema, and a bag of kit kats. What part of this is compelling the Walgreens woman to tell me to "be well".
They have beer where we have blood.
whoa whoa whoa, you're saying I shouldn't post pics of you balls deep in a southern hottie?
Randomize
