i hate sounding clingy, but i just wanted to verify i wasn't an asshole in your mind
I just mistook a monk for someone with the newest colored snuggie.
lady crackhead wearing pjs and a santa hat brushed the snow off my car at 7am saying "free of charge" the whole time
I would explain the ketchup stains in the bed to him but saying I just got my period is so much less embarrassing...
My patience ran out after you started clapping at the strippers everytime they took off a piece of clothing.
I feel like a food baby is going to burst from my stomach and eat all the leftovers until another food baby rips out of its stomach. And so on. It's truly a merry Christmas.
He said he wanted to go to France " just to piss in the nice areas". I want to fuck him.
And really all I wanted was to be like "hey can I borrow your dick for a few hours this weekend?"
The Mole People would help. They are a kind, helpful people, the Mole People are.
Mole people?
Mole people
Sorry I couldn't reference you in my facebook quote. I will redirect any likes and comments straight to my blowjob efforts this week.
new district manager is here. you need to come in early
5th mimosa says otherwise
I don't think I'm ever gonna need a boyfriend again. I have a body pillow, a vibrator, and I'm strong enough to open my own jars.
Every time Brady gets sacked I cum a little...
We have such a parasitic relationship. But the kind where the parasite benefits from the relationship. Like the pilot fish and a shark. The fish gets the leftover food scraps from the shark and the shark gets a free bath from it.
that's so insightful.
Have you ever realized how weird it is to think that you've fucked someone and don't know what their handwriting looks like?
Randomize
