i puked in the mini-firdge
we don't have a mini-fridge?
bought one. it ws too cheap to pass up. xcept now there's puke in it,,, but the freezer's fine so i feel pretty good about that
how do flat chested girls get laid?
just threw up in the bus full of other international students just outside of boulder, just keeping the aussie reputation alive
Its Friday night, and I'm sitting at home watching are you smarter then a 5th grader, drinking vodka. I got every single question wrong. Clearly you see where I'm headed in life.
i have rugburns grass stains and some road rash. im an all terrain slut
I'm pretty sure we put the facepaint on during whippets
She told me my dick looked like a baby seal wrapped in a sleeping bag.
I got shot at today. If that doesn't get me at least a blow job I give up working on the south side
Woke up the next morning in an 8 year old's bedroom. Saw my bra swinging from the spiderman ceiling fan and decided it would be best to dip out w/o it.
You know you have crossed to the dark side of marriage when a nap is more important than jacking off
Marshall is naming all the elements of my face. I love science nerds.
Yeah man i woke up and only had a Jimmy John's wrapper covering myself..
I'm wearing a suit and have no chance of getting laid or robing a casino. I consider this opportunity a failure
I don't want to ruin date night, but you have no idea how hard it is to poop whilst looking at cute puppies.
After last night I think its official. Deep down, we like alcohol more than we like women.
Randomize
