VAGINAS EVERYWHERE
they're staring at me
My clean wipe streak was ended today by two enchiladas and a can of refried beans. dammit i should have been more cautious. thanks for all ur encouragement and support.
im so drunk with asians
where?
always
The old saying is "its not the size of the boat-- but the motion of the ocean" is obviously for those on the "Small side." I am of the belief that "You can't churn butter with a toothpick"
After watching Cinemax for a few months, real porn just grosses me out.
Its like I instantly had a mental image of me in my mugshot.
You know what my problem is? I'm like a machine designed for the sole intention of removing the pants from damaged girls.
When was the last time you made a good decision when you could've made a shitty one
I had a salad today
Screwed a girl without a condom but hey at least you got your veggies
Don't know why you're always hating on relationships. I've had chocolate pancakes accompanied by a blowjob and a blunt and it's not even 9 am. Time for mid morning shower sex. Enjoy your morning bong bowl alone asshole
He asked me if my princess crown was real and before I could say yes, he was already reaching to put it on. I'm pretending I'm asleep if he tries to have sex.
Halloween is the end of the singles holidays they don't start again until st. Patrick's day we better get wifed up or it's going to be a long winter lol
So far in 2016 I told someone id give them a blowjob for lasagna.
Interesting. All i can really say is humanoid shaped doritos bags melting very slowly
If my drunken penis pic is ever to be forgiven id like to start over with all that
I was not drunk enough for that final.
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