Yeah we had sex for the first time last night and all the text he sent me afterwards said was “heh”
David Carradine died? Should I be thinking about this 10 min before my interview?
Haha just ref him when they ask a questin about kung fu which they will since ur Asian
i just lost my virginity for the 9th time. when will guys stop believing that nonsense line
HOnestly. That's my one goal for this whole trip. I don't give a shit about souvenirs or sand. I want penis.
my goal is to masturbate without thinking about my exbf.
I feel like my teeth are caked on with other teeth. What did I just smoke?
Yeah kinda weird. My grandparents are here for dinner and I'm chilling on the couch close to tripping out on pain killers. My pap asked me how works going and I prettymuch drooled on myself as an answer.
Maybe her vagina is like a vacuum
I can't decide if that would be a good or bad thing. I'm leaning toward good
I did sing regulators with a random black dude at The Rail without looking at the screen, hugged him and walked off stage. I pretty much live up to all expectations.
Promise me you will not let me do anything sexual with or to a mini horse no matter how drunk we get. Ever.
My boss want to throw me an everclear birthday.
I went out to dinner with the girls thinking I'd be home early. Instead I ended up in the Englishman's hotel room. Long Live The Queen.
Well, I sent nudes with an Elmo t shirt on the floor... so there's that.
I just had a 30-minute convo with an irrelevant fuckboy from college who decided to tell me FOUR years later he’s sorry for sleeping with 3 girls at once including me.
I cannot believe I accepted his penis into my body.
Randomize
