college drinking is stealing all my money, thank god planned parenthood is somewhat free
.....then i was kicked out of my work christmas party......
New drinking game: take a shot everytime Jay-Z is played during the NFL draft.
is there a legit reason for the weird voicemail I got at 2:14am?all I could make out was 'help me' 'two hours' and 'toilet butt'. wtf did u drink.
Before you say anything, my vagine does NOT discriminate against young dads
Making jello shots drunk, i apologize ahead of time if they are too strong Can't taste anything.
I'm standing outside of the bar watching homeless men teach a kid how to pee of the sidewalk.
Apparently I texted my high school english teacher asking her to tell me what logical fallacies she taught us three years ago.
I told him if I was pregnant we were coming out to the people at work, because I'm not pretending to get knocked up by an imaginary boyfriend.
You should've come to the party. It was like an identity parade of everyone you screwed last year.
And know that if I ever text "road head?" that it comes from a place of caring and not a place of heartlessness..
I AM CRUING IT IS 93:2 AM AND I AM CYGIN INT BED
He's not messing around tonight. 4 fist pumps.
Just told myself the phrase "You're not THAT single" while dressing myself
The important thing is that she is gone, presumably back to the depths of hell from whence she came.
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