Third unemployed latin in my bed this week. I'm on a roll
he just said he'd buy the porn
its a step up from the last guy
Why is there a cactus in the microwave?
Don't worry about it.
It's just a matter of time. The ball is in my court. Soon to be in her mouth.
i sat alone in my bed and ate pizza and garlic fingers. The icing on the cake was hearing your moans from down the hall.
There are pictures of you on the shoulders of some old guy dressed as borat
I'll report later on the progress of the mountain orgy
i don't know. but im upstairs in the closet with a burger i found in their fridge
We got to the party at eleven, and the host was already in the hospital from being stabbed. And she brought the stabber home with us when we left.
I shit myself. Legit. And I burnt my tongue. Unrelated incidents, but related in the sense of general discomfort.
I make one hell of a fire on Ambien. Other life choices not so much. But fire. Fire I can do.
I'm about to be a GTA V widow, he could at least throw me a bone. Literally.
We were kinda loud so his roommate woke up and to make up for it he invited him to a threesome. I can't drink whiskey anymore.
I danced shirtless on a platform with a fucking stripper who went to MIT
You don't understand. This boy has the Mona Lisa of cocks.
Randomize