Sadly no. But I was pantsless when they came to get me. Which made me miss you...
I just spent an hour correcting all the grammar and spelling of all the 2pac songs on my ipod
Wish I didn't live with 3 girls so I could beat off in peace.
I just ate a cashew that looked EXACTLY like your dick.
after he gave me a diploma for giving him amazing head, getting a regular diploma isnt all that cool.
Yes someone did see you carrying a beer bong on the side of coastal highway
well judging by the amount of dired blood around my nipple rings i'm gonna assume it was a good night
for once, the $56 i am about to pay for plan b was actually worth the sex.
If I had to give her an idea on what it means to be ur date I would compare it to being Ralph macchio's gf in the first karate kid... That's one of the coolest things I've ever said... I love drugs.
Second time this week margarita night turned homoerotic
He should be castrated
Nah he might accidentally come while they're cutting it off. Wouldn't be fair to the surgeons
ripping the fire alarm off the wall probably seemed like a better idea last night than it really was.
It got weird the panthers lost and we started throwing wings at one another
nobody put me to bed and I ended up peeing on a tree and got written up
sexting just seems like too much work right now.
Randomize
