He told me about his girlfriends trust issues during our post sex spooning
He freaked out when I started to orgasm. He said he never knew girls could orgasm too.
My coke dealer called me at midnight just to ask how to spell a word. Not sure how I should feel about that.
My own vomit just splashed me in the face. How's your day going
He gave them shots of purell and called it "acid rain" jello shots. They took them.
I hate freshman.
how did we start talking about space blow jobs?
The last thing I remember is feeding country fried steak to my best friend in a bubble bath with my bare hands.
Apparently chalking everything I've done these past 48 hours to the fact that it was homecoming, is like a "get out of jail free" card.
He was so high he started playing Twister on the striped rug. Then when we missed midnight he went on a screaming rampage about his New Year's Eve being meaningless. How do you think it went?
the only reason I'm still sleeping with him is to get the university's secure wifi password
Can you come unlock the door? I just peed myself on the porch.
Vodka for breakfast. With a side of Frankenberries. Don't judge me.
i'm not so sure everythign we did last night was legal...
you smell like vanilla and daddy issues
location: under the moon. please find me. need ride home.
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