well apparently i yelled MY VAGINA WAS ANNIHILATED and his whole family heard
Someone obviously heard us on their way to class. They stopped at my door and started singing afternoon delight.
There's a walmart bag of my vomit outside my front door. I just really need someone to appreciate that with me.
After we did it I noticed she was wearing the same underwear as last night.
That's why you don't sleep with the same girl two nights in a row man!
it's like doing a sit-up... but, you're inside someone
I feel like shaving is just admitting i'm gonna do him, even though im still on the fence
shave. it'll take 10 min. Better safe than hairy.
He was drinking wine out of a pyrex measuring cup at two in the afternoon and told me my ass looked fantastic in my sweatpants. I love university
Where would I incorporate "your boyfriend fucked the shit out of me last night" before or after Merry Christmas bitch?
I know it I should, but it's kinda nice. It's smells like unbridled enthusiasm and copious amounts of melt your face off sex.
Let me tell you the story of bicurious george
This is what my life has come to. Like, I may or may not have just stolen pizza from the guy I just hooked up with's fridge when I left...
So good!! I became real good friends with an adorable black lesbian couple from Baltimore and a man in a diaper.
Competitive oral. I'm always telling girls they are only the fourth, maybe third, best blowjob I've had. They go back down with something to prove.
I completely forgot I gave up beer. But airports don't count. They're like international waters. No rules.
So, random question. How much should you tip a Lyft driver when you realized you've fucked his sister? Asking for a friend.
Randomize
