We got drunk before dinner. People at the other tables were praying for us.
I just saw two girls throwing up in the bathroom. they were high-fiving under the stall...
The only thing better than Call of Duty is getting jerked off while playing Call of Duty.
He's having sex with his gf again. Every thump of his bed against the wall is insulting to our one night stand.
Yeah, but there's no serving sizes for dick.
Also, did that cop draw hearts on everyone's hands last night?
Doubtful. That seems irresponsible. The 4th will kill you if you stopped drinking until then. Let's think logically.
We ended up sleeping in the emergency room for safety (you know, well lit, cameras..) and then an ambulance drove us to the train station around 4am. great last night in australia.
Well since its impossible for me to swallow a pill this big I'm making wine slushies out of them
I just passed a truck with its bed lined with a tarp and filled with water with six dudes chilling in the back driving through campus. That looks fun.
Just at the gym drinking. We call it treadmillcolada
sweet Jesus, who thought 13 martinis was a good idea? 11 was probably sufficient.
Just puked. First it was bright neon blue then it turned to bright lime green. How does that even happen? And wtf was I drinkin last night?
the only fun thing to do here is drink beer and make mistakes. i feel like im in college again
Ever look at an ex and wonder...was I drunk that entire relationship??
Yes, yes I do.
Randomize
