There were 3 chicks in my bed I didn't know when I got home. Now I know all of them. Biblically.
dude you just took shreks wife home. what the fuck is wrong with you
when a bears hungry he eats besides shes got her nipples pierced
i miss vodka and anonymity. college is so rich in both. in college we are a many armed creature, lubricated with beer and sex.
I'm just not sure how to initiate the "do you want to have sex with my boyfriend and I" conversation
It's offcial there's a Bobby Light radio station on pandora.
50 year old business women like dick too. Come on she said you looked like Ricky Martin.
4 girls bringing me taco bell. this is what dreams are made of.
Never ever ever ever ever ever give your number to a 30 year old at buffalo wild wings. Ever ever ever.
You then showed up downstairs in only a robe, telling everyone how you were "the most chivalristic fratstar ever."
I'm covered in European cum. How's your day going?
If my neighbors have super loud sex again tonight, I'm going to leave a ball-gag and roll of duct tape in their mail slot.
Tequila ran out around 11 so she let them do body shots of chips and guacamole instead
Whoever thought of breakup sex is my new best friend
we live vicariously through your huge boobs
couldn't remember his name. introduced him as 'mr multiple orgasms'
Randomize
