We just described beer as "big boy apple juice" to his 2 year old.
He's warming up to shark week, by only eating fish and drinking vodka, and all the time he keeps yelling "death to the seals!"
being alone eating nachos and drinking from a giant munchen beermug really isnt that sad
Drunk versus high capture the flag: what team is everybody gonna be on?
Truth be told I was googling "why is my left calf bigger than my right calf", porn would've been a better excuse for a virus.
his roommates said i can move in if i promise to only drink tequila the rest of the semester. challenge accepted.
Your a horrible friend, i only tried to do the right thing by moving you off the floor.. that was not an invitation to puke all over my bed and attempt to use my dog to mop it up.
I'm doing homework tonight but if you end up going out drinking I would like one courtesy peer pressure text.
Lazier than spoon feeding yourself popcorn and debating adult diapers so you don't have to leave the mentalist marathon on tv?
Bring your friend that fell asleep in the bathroom for my friend.
The trainer from the tech college told me that I would pass the first aid course so long as I turned up sober. Challenge accepted
I just finished spraying the foam party off my pumps with a garden hose
We popped the air mattress last night via sex and we just kept going but it feels like I have a bruise on every vertebrae
Currently standing at the bus stop in just a pillowcase and its fucking snowing
The party pretty much ended once she shit on the couch
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