New thing to add to the list of never wanted to talk about with my grandma: sweating in ur crouch and vag area
We gotta make a movie eventually. All good, long-lasting relationships include a homemade porno
I don't know the quality of the hand jobs you've received in the past but it CLEARLY was not one from me
I'd like to be considered more than just his fuck buddy thanks. IVE BEEN RISKING PREGNANCY FOR SEVEN GODDAMN MONTHS I DESERVE THE TITLE OF GIRLFRIEND
I THREW AWAY MY VIBRATOR BECAUSE IT INTIMIDATED HIM. WORST. DECISION. EVER
My gyno overestimated by 3 TIMES the amount of sex we have per week. First of all, he must think I'm a freak. Secondly, I think we should catch up.
Just face planted the stairs. Apparently Santa brought an extra step while I was at the bar... Fucking dick
This is like a walk of shame down memory lane.
He also needs to focus on not being such a little bitch, but that's none of my business.
I don't know where I'm at. But I'm pretty sure what I'm looking at is a small bear.
This is the Front Desk Lady from the Saturolite Inn. Your friend is passed out in the lobby. Please come help her.
I feel like everything in my life has been preparing me for my future sex robot experience
You’re so close!!!
Im crying watching 9/11 footage eating spray can cheese in my pajamas.
R.I.P my virginity. TOD 12:37pm
I kept my extra Molly pill in my wallet in the change part, that's also where I keep my body jewelry while I'm working. The nose ring punctured the pill essentially coating itself in MDMA. My nose ring is back in my nose. This could be entertaining
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