my mom just served us mashed potatoes with an ice cream scoop. When I asked her why, she said she thought it would make dinner 'more fancy'...
Just did the walk of shame across state lines...milestone?
Would love to except that I crashed into a hearse in a funeral procession about an hour ago so I think that pretty much put an end to my day.
Yeah he had his two razors labeled "face" and "pubes". Should I be disgusted or impressed?
it's great music for shaving your balls
Bob the builder, bob the uilder bob the builder bbbbbbbbbbbbbbbbjbbbbbiotch!pp!!!!
Let's play a little game of "Last Night Never Happened"
He is like the "hometown sweetheart", but a huge freak. Like "I'll come change your flat tire"....but then fuck you like an animal in the back seat.
I am not being the messenger for your booty call.
I spoon fed you cheerios when you were black out drunk. You owe me one.
She just asked if I wanted to eat nachos off of her boobs... I'm going to marry this girl.
Only thig bad about that muscular chick from the gym is she liked it so rough I had to bust out a few wrestling moves from highschool
There's no way you didn't at least start out with a dick. I obviously know there isn't one now, but there is no way that you were born a girl
Saw a dude last night at a strip club's bar eating canned pineapple and giving tootsie pops to the girls...
Also, your girlfriend apologized to me about yesterday. That was nice of the cunt.
Well, I guess my plans of staying around the apartment and drinking my weight in boxed wine are ruined. I have a date tonight.
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