dude I went to cubs game with my mustache, aviators, and a hooded sweatshirt. Do you think it was irony or fate that there were four 17 year old girls in front of us?
kill, fuck, marry: alice cullen, hermione granger, ginny weasley.
damn... fuck alice for sure, I feel bad but i think I have to say marry ginny... and kill hermoine! I can't believe I'm answering this right now.
recess is on disney at 4 in the morning, insomnia has never been so rewarding
she insisted i was the anonymous guy on formspring that kept asking to bang her
Clearly I went along with it
Sorry I didn't wanna double team his sister. Having whiskey dick and watching you get laid didn't sound appealing
It was 5 a.m. and we found him making margaritas with nyquil...
He got me an interview at his law firm and his boss asked him what he had to say about me. His response "He dates CRAZY bitches."
whatever happens this semester dont let me be that girl yacking in the urinal. again.
Still burping lighter fluid. Totally awful.
Milk that cash cow for all the shots she's worth
2015 is a year for health and mental stability and alas we are not yet there so yolo
the day i stop sending you hentai screenshots is the day i actually act like an adult, and TRUST ME. THAT AINT HAPPENING ANYTIME SOON.
someone found a bottle of whiskey in the bushes this morning when they were cleaning before an admissions event. i'm 95% sure it's mine..
I'm floating on a rainbow and a purple elf is giving me advice. COME NOW!!!
That’s the third time this month he’s hooked up with a girl by telling her it’s his bachelor party, and he’s not even dating a chick let alone engaged.
Randomize
