Well listen chief - never again do i want the scenario of going to the ER totally naked and partially drunk to b a possibility.
That's the secret to virgins: blizzards.
You gave him your vagina and this is what I get in return? This is bullshit!
no you cant smoke seaweed
I've had cake for breakfast the past 3 days. You tell me how bikini season is going.
I'm doing laundry in pjs and heels, home alone with my margarita bucket.
My professor complimented me on the well drawn penis on my face then asked if I would like a seat closer to the garbage can.
The doctor asked me what height I fell from to hurt my back.. I answered keg height
There is a car windscreen wiper in my handbag... Not my car's, not ok.
If you end up wanting to sit on his face, just make a sound like a dying giraffe and I'll make myself scarce.
Hopefully they won't bring up last year's Christmas party. I kind of predicted my great aunt's death...
I told him that we shouldn't complicate things. He responded with a dick pic.
Thank you, BTW, for defiling my bed. Glad it was done well.
Apparently I thought every drink in my house needed to have a buddy so I put some vodka in each one. Long story short being wasted at work because the gatorade you brought is 60% liqour is not a great idea.
He's got a big dick, a steady job and tells me I'm pretty. There is litterally nothing else I look for I a guy.
Randomize
