Don't be mad at me. I know peeing in your drawer is 1 thing and peeing on you while you're sleeping is another, but im sorry..i love you
Drinking mikes hard & watching the swan princess. i fucking LOVE college
i think you broke pat's ankle when you drove over it... he's freaking out but on a more serious note i'm 99% sure i saw a werewolf
Have introduced beer-pong to my work's Tuesday lunches.
Swear to god this chicks brother got let out of jail for the weekend for the sole purpose of cock blocking me
Is it cheating if its a threesome? This is more like a party game than infidelity.
Oh god our sink is a cavalcade of horrors. Brb sacrificing a goat and putting everything in the dishwasher forever
Well we did eat French fries lady-and-the-tramp style last night...
So how exactly do I backtrack from motorboating and ass grabbing?
I traded him cumming in my face for a year for a Disney annual pass. One giant leap back for feminism, one small step for the adult child Disney fan.
Well I shit myself on the way home from work today so there's that...
Last night I crashed my housemates tinderdate, smoked his weed and then left. He felt too awkward to say no.#Empowerment
Self reach around competition is what the Olympics has been missing all along. A true test of athleticism.
Haha we both slept with guys named Brad born on may 1st. This is a proud day for sisters.
I feel kind of like we’re in a gang and tonight is one of those “people are gonna know not to fuck with us” type of nights. And then tomorrow I am going to learn to pole dance. I’m not really sure how I got to this point in my life… but I like it.
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