you need to know that there is a kid here wearing an i mosh for Jesus shirt
just had a dream there were parent teacher conferences in college...scariest dream ever.
By the way, turns out "Danny B" is his penis. Not his cousin. I was right.
why is there a clump of hair nailed to my wall?
We're cuddling on the couch that me and his brother had sex on...this feels wrong
she has her graduation year in her skype name, it's like a constant reminder that she's jail bait.
Can you send me a picture of you not naked, my mom wants to see what you look like
Just made a list of all the guys I've hooked up with. "Roofie tattoo eyelids", "xanex night guy", "rainy concert", "cory blanket" and "naked hottub guy" made it.
please tell me you're in jail and for some reason they have wifi
Nothing is better than seeing someone you fucked go to the Olympics. I feel so American.
did you just try to prove your straightness by quoting a lady gaga song?
Hey remind me the get the pancakes out of my jacket
Apparently I was so drunk last night I got stuck in the revolving door at the hotel. They have suveliance vidoes of it.
My manager caught me going taking a nap in an empty room. Apparently she sleeps there too.
they call themselves the foursome.. thats def means they're up for one right?
Randomize
