doooooooo herrrrrrrrr
I'm out of practice. be my yoda
put your penis in her you must.
I want you to tape your fingers together and give me a lobster claw hand job.
My dad walked in on me masturbating in my own apartment.....my own apartment!!
I love you like a cupcake loves an overweight child, very similar to the mannerisms of a whole cake but personal, and minus the commitment issues, plus just the right amount of icing; not to mention the convenience of mobility, and only a smidgen of the guilt😘
Ive consumed more rum studying for law school finals than I did that time I fucked that fat chick in the back of VW Beetle. It's all ugly, but for different reasons.
my taxi driver is listening to 50 shades of grey audiobook. this is uncomfortable.
he attacked my vagina with the force of a thousand suns
Ski vacations are for hooking up with randoms. It's like I don't even know you
No. If I hated you would get none. Then I would eat them all in front of you and laugh at your tears. Although that hasn't been ruled out for entertainment purposes. Nothing purposeful.
I told the American that we should start banging in Canada incase I get hurt and have to go to the hospital.. is that rude to say?
First day in a very long time I've done more pushups than bong rips
please tell me you're the one making all the weird noise in the yard..
We left him in some bushes a few blocks down toward campus. Did he find his way home?
Going through his web history. 10 hours ago he searched "how to put on condom with your teeth" I think I'm getting it tonight.
I just found out through a drunken phone call that my parents thought I'd grow up to be a porn star. It's kind of scary how accurate they were at how skilled I'd be at sex.
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