im gay
i know
yea but for you.
At Coney Island the sign for the rollercoaster The Cyclone says, "Make sure your glasses and weave are secure."
Did I get blown in the bathroom? Yes. Did she throw up cranberry juice on my shorts? Yes. Did she finish the job? Yes.
Threw a lawn chair at the neighboors dog. I think I killed him. Come here and assess this
Just so were clear I meant the head your face is on
She licked EVERYTHING then yelled at me in Spanish. I just kept saying SI.
What if our hands were octopus tentacles?
You're an idiot.
there is a spider sitting on top of my weed like he owns it or some shit
no but seriously tf do i do? i have that spider phobia but i think my lvoe of the weed overpowers it
I just had a drunk lesbian experience.... How do I break it to my boyfriend??
At dinner her sister yelled "he fucked me AND mom!! Up your standards hoe!!" Safe to say I ruined that family
Speaking of, what are you doing next weekend? I'm going to a rope bondage seminar and may need a partner if my date bails.
MY COWORKER IS ATTRACTIVE AND I DROPPED A SONIC THE HEDGEHOG JOKE IN CONVERSATION I FUCKED UP
New Orleans is just like you. Dirty but beautiful and will always have a special place in my heart
Do you think the hole in the ceiling will count against our security deposit?
You were so drunk, you kept telling everyone you had a platinum vagina.
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