i never knew gatorade would taste just as good on the way back up
its like my vagina has this homing beacon out to all the guys saying "come find me, i havent been shaved in weeks"
I'm such a slut...i kept having sex with him after he called me his ex gf's name. I just felt like i deserved something out of it too.
So I went outside my house this morning and basically my entire front lawn is covered in gummi bears... I think that involves you guys.
uhh when the x-ray tec was moving your head you licked his hand and meowed.. i think he knew you weren't sober
I was gonna tell her, but there were too many tongues in my mouth
I want to lick his teeth again. Is that a creepy thing to say?
I woke up sick this morning, maybe sucking a random dudes finger at a bar last night wasn't that clean of an idea.....
Your drunk naked friend is roaming the living room. Started roaming my room. Please come retrieve him
I don't have any soul left to be crushed.
I just dominated some guy while wearing your moms thong
Was that you calling me at 4am asking to borrow a rubber ducky and a tampon?
What am I thankful for..I figured out I can drink on antibiotics without getting sick thanks to the power of pot gummies
I have to stop at Sheetz to put my bra back on before I meet you hold on
i did these weird ass ab exercises once that left me queefing for weeks
Randomize
