I think this dress is screaming I want a birthday 3some with two moderately attractive guys. I hope.
she's into porn, im staying here tonight
It's been over a month and I still can't find the bra I wore out on new years eve.
Just found my mom passed out in my bed holding a bag of wine. Not sure if I'm ashamed or proud.
eating kraft dinner with my face. no forks.
Dude.. You paid a stripper $50 to listen to you cry last night.
Why is Kyle using one of my nieces as a blunt object to provoke and attack my other niece?
He stopped mid-sex to read the subtitles on a Korean movie we had playing in the background.
My parents don't seem to understand that all I want to do over break is smoke in bed and watch Workaholics.
I just try to date guys based on what I need like I am trying to find an electrician now
You gays are geniuses
we're the same shoe size and he owns more pairs of heels than i do. this could be the beginning of a beautiful friendship
Just paid for birth control in all ones do you think she is judging me?
My trash can is full of used condoms and girl scout cookie boxes.
The frequency with which I change my vibrator batteries is getting a little ridiculous....
Sooo does anyone wanna tell me why I threw up a cigarette this morning?
OMG YOU DID TO?!
Randomize