She told me she only masterbates to Kenny Rogers songs.
OMG. What did u say?
I told her I did too.
I love Japanese schoolgirls with short skirts riding bikes on windy days.
You're never coming back, are you?
then he said "your boobs looked so much bigger on girls gone wild"
I forgot about that,good spring break.
its impossible for me to find something that fits my tits my muffin top and my ass all at the same time
You suck. You're fired. I need to find a less reasonable voice-of-reason.
I have never made a good decision in that bathroom...
I woke up naked in my bathtub at 5:30 this morning. There's legit a spray tan body print of me in the fetal position in my tub.
I take your giggles as a yes to operation McLaxitives?
This stranger told me I should "start playing for the other team" and then continued to talk to me about the joys of being a lesbian
She acts like a 3 year old but with fantastic tits. This girl is the reason women are objectified
If your boss lets you sleep on his couch, you don't pay him back by boning his daughter.
I really just want to eat 20 mcnuggets and slap everyone with the box when I'm done.
Oh yeah, it was definitely the best sex of my life, I just don't think I can fix the kitchen table before my parents get back...
Juice tastes so weird without alcohol
Got a blowjob while watching James Bond's "Octopussy." My 13 year old self would be so proud
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