He is fucking rediculously sexy. DO HIM NOW. NOW. NOW. NOW.
so this rather large man keeps buying us drinks.......then he licked my face....i dont really care though because the drinks are good. Is this bad?
Just spent five minutes taking pictures of my hands for some random guy.
Thanks for reminding me why I talk about you behind your back. Get laid.
My main thought on the Olympics: I need LESS cowbell.
The neighbors are smoking hash and doing Julia Child impressions...again.
remeber the saying "bad choices make good memories" dude our bad choices dont even make memories.
Just finished texting the 27th male name in my phone that i don't recognize. none of them were the hott kid i made out with last night. the search continues.
The cab driver had me sign for the payment and I was like give me a second while I throw up right outside your door.
does it count as cheating if I'm bettering him for his girlfriend?
In the middle of pouring my wine you asked me if I could hear your vibrator from my room.
I just baptized the girl next to me. LONG LIVE THE CHURCH OF VODKA
I threw up in a mitten on my drive home. Wow.
My penis needs a shock collar
What am I doing? I'm usually only attracted to horrible people.
That's so awful of me. Instead of comforting her I masturbated in front of my ex-boyfriend.
Randomize
