i just overheard my mom tell my dad he should drink less so he could hit the right hole
I got oddly confused when she started talking in third person in bed.
so he must've not known that your lastname is Came because everytime someone would say your name he would scream "NO SHE DIDNT" to the whole party. He must've not been too good then either.
it's to the point where working 2 jobs this summer will absolutely not cover how much i will spend on alcohol next semester.
I came home drunk to my night light on and a Hershey's bar on my bed. Mom knows me too well.
he kept saying "mind over matter" as he fucked me
thank you for letting me use your house as a brothel.
sitting in the bathroom telling some girl to keep puking or she will die. while holding a beer. nursing school rocks.
He's asking if he can send a dick pic. How do I politely decline that?
I walked outside an you were laying down talking to a star about your life. That's when I took the bottle of jack away...
I'm remembering the time we thought it was a brilliant idea to put koolaid powder in shots of goldschlager
so I found out I could dislocate my shoulders on demand while I was trippin on e last night...
Please tell me how the stripper got back to Sarah's from the trailer park
Haha I'M GOING TO MISS HIS PENIS SO MUCH. But not his bipolarness.
3.5 bazillion penises. So not that hard to find a new good one
i can feel my liver failing just LOOKING at that thing
Randomize
