she took her clothes off and my dick went from =====> to =>
Is it uncouth to have a themed intervention? I know how much you like Star Wars.
You better wipe the dick of your lips before you come smoke this blunt.
She was touching herself and looking a shoes online. My debt is bad enough without bringing that hot mess into my life.
I couldn't sleep so I took 4 shots of vodka and promptly threw up in the sink. Happy Thursday
you were afraid hed set himself on fire so you dumped a box of baking soda on him
I did something similar high once. I stopped like 30 feet in front of a stop sign because I felt like it was running towards me and I started crying. Got out my car and hugged it and told it not to run away people need it.
Ya, so he said he had to change before he would go to Pizza Hut because he pissed himself. He ran into his house and came back wearing a cowboy hat.........and his piss covered jeans.
Well I'm sorry but he seemed so happy being drunk at noon.
Well she described you as a "Sex-Viking", which seemed to be only slightly related to the red beard. So things are looking good!
Tomorrow I need you to slap me in the face. I'll explain then
Painting strippers breast and vaginas to look like easter eggs. What r u doing tonight.
Currently looking up Winnie-the-Pooh porn.
Idk I think he's weird but he's also from Wisconsin so that might have something to do with it.
Dude you were so wasted you thought a fake electric candle was real and tried to light your cig with it. Multiple times.
Is that your Nuva ring on the floor? Shit must have gotten crazy
Randomize
