what age do we have to be before we can stop fucking guys on the first date?
I walked into cold stone and the guy started preparing a supersized birthday cake remix for "Mrs. Munchies"
He started making shapes and faces with his cock and balls.... apparently if you wrap the shaft with your balls and turn it 90 degrees to the left it looks like a hamburger
Hes sobering up now. He was just really bad for like 45 minutes. He cried while he was telling me how he pictured us eating hotdogs on the beach together..
Went to get my tattoo today. Found out the piercing girl is bi. I may just get my nipples done to get hit on tomorrow. Confidence is low these days.
Please please please tell me that is not a pringles container full of pee that your little brother just got a hold of.....
You know how I got mad at him for making out with his formal date? Apparently I fucked mine. I'm guessing any exclusivity is out of the question.
Yours weakened by children. Mine weakened by a forearm sized cock for 8 years.
The lady at target couldn't scan my grocery item and just looked at me and said "just take it. I hate this fucking place". Best munchie adventure yet.
Well, I saw an Olympian's genitals tonight, so it can't be that bad.
My life hurts
I woke up 30 minutes away from the bar, my car was at a train station, and when I got home all I got was the speechless head shake
Thinking of someone think of me while masturbating while I masturbate. & that's how the over thinkers do it ✌️
I'm all set for mothers day, I let her beat me in beer pong.
He's a fucking ninja- think of the things he can probably do with his dick.
Just realized that I indirectly pay for sex through my cable bill
Wow. He is an expensive lay
I still have to figure out the cost per lay. It could be a financially sound investment
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