y did u give ur computer a hand job?
So I had sex in the woods... it was just as dirty as you'd expect it would be.. and not in a good way.
Fuck Jersey, the house im in is so baller but this state just cannot win.
Things on my life to do list: hold a pound of marijuana. Check.
i have a strong feeling i fucked one of the waiters here...
I told him he was my first gentile. He was so flattered.
She even gives head with a lisp.
I feel bad for the next person that's gonna live in my room. There's so much semen on the carpet
Thank God I did Vegas bombs with those cops at their Christmas party. We should so be in jail.
I gave the naked guy in the hotel a pop tart. He stopped crying.
It's 3 in the morning and there is a bird chirping it's head off outside. GOD DAMNIT THIS IS NOT A TIME TO SING OF YOUR CHEERFUL BIRD MERRIMENT YOU STUPID BIRD CUNT!
sitting in the kitchen naked and eating stirfry, random dude left my room saying thanks and gave me a bottle of wine. explain...
man my uterus needs to drop the egg or GTFO, BUUUSHIT
You pee in parking lots....i drive home naked.....thats the american dream i was promised
My boyfriend just called me on his poop break from work.... Is that what you meant by moving too fast?
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