What's the point in getting all dressed up and going when i'm just gonna throw up on myself by midnight?
Cute you're picking friends over dick. I feel like this is the trailer for a lifetime movie.
I accidentally requested the ides of march off instead of st patricks day. Is this an omen? will alcohol be my brutus?
New Jersey isn't a real state, it's just a myth you tell little kids to scare them like Canada or Carrot Top
We just took shots out of seashells. Welcome spring break 10.
Who would have thought google would have HELPED me fail a test...not pass...thank you pacman, thank you google....
I am listening to lecture and I can hear us in the background talking about anal beads.
that was THE gayest party i've ever been to
To be fair, the theme was Cabaret. I don't know what you were expecting.
my window is missing, there is half a pizza jammed into the disk slot of my PS3, and the entire kitchen floor is covered in cerial i cant see any wood floor. did we have fun?
Props to you. You took the bet seriously. Making out with her for an hour right after she spewed
I got so many dick pics last night. It was like a slideshow from heaven.
I should get him a card "thanks for letting me use you for your penis on and off as I see fit and for being a nice guy. My boobs and I appreciate your loyalty and dedication"
just once i'd like to actually BE there for your crazy drunk stories instead of just getting the play-by-play by people who can't remember half of it
When I came out of the bathroom you were naked dead asleep on the couch but your dick was still rock hard standing straight up. I almost took a pic. It was impressive.
The cop told you he couldn't let you pee. You just pulled your pants down and squared anyway and im surprised you didnt get arrested.No more drinking for you.
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