Spaghetti and Car Bombs, good idea or what will end up on the bar in a few minutes?
the amount of times i have wished for a boxed wine emoticon is almost alarming. almosttt
you have failed as an in class drinking partner.
Remember that time we got drunk tomorrow
Atlanta road trip update. Jimmy fell into the petting tank at the aquarium. And freaked out. With cops now... Keep you posted
The bartender charged us for drinks. Life is different.
Who suggested the eggnog wet t-shirt contest last night like whose idea was that
Speaking
I didn't know what to do so I panicked and puked in my pillowcase with my pillow still inside.
Fun times on public transportation. I just had a guy imply that I was racist cause I didn't want to talk to him when I was clearly reading my book and he was clearly on coke.
Kelly and I just had sex, and you didn't call or text to interrupt, are you alive? We are both concerned.
Update on my sex life: my calves are sore from masturbating too much. It's a thing. Look it up.
She threw my purse across the room almost broke a lamp and this all started bc she forgot what an air mattress was
My life is over, I got a mugshot while wearing a shirt that said 'milf hunter'.
If history is any guide, his morals are no match for my tits
He just kept going down on me. And he was all like, do you mind? No motha fucka, who would? All of his ex's, apparently. Whatever, he's a gem and I'm keeping him.
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