Was just hit on by a guy with 2 kids and one was named Rocky. I need to get out of Buena Park.
He could be your dad!
We discussed that right before he asked for my number
there was a guy here who managed to get his head stuck in a fishbowl. no, I don't fuckin know how
can you imagine how much money lesbians save on birth control?!?
bitches.
They high fived mid Eiffel Tower, then we all proceeded to talk about how our friendship is much stronger now. I'd say a successful first threesome.
I could seriously attempt to try and saw my head in half with a butter knife cause im pretty sure it could not hurt any more than it already does
i can't believe he threw up on you. Well thats what you get for being DD. I used the sombreros as a shield!
He told me he doesn't want to fuck anymore because he needs to focus on school. Either he grew a vagina or he's secretly gay, it has to be one of the two.
Apparently when it was last call I jumped up on the bar and told everyone to get the fuck out, which was immediately followed by a round of applause from the bouncers/bartenders and my tab getting paid as well.
currently googling "apology gifts for when you poop on their floor"
Sorry that I got drunk and refused to let you buy me pizza. I'm a monster and I understand if you hate me forever
the night was just a blur of sex and pie
You're the third Mark I've fucked in that bed.
Trying to stay sober at a family function but hiccuping so fucking loud. "Have you been drinking?" I hit on my cousin so yeah. I have been drinking.
Last night was a whirlwind of vodka - induced emotion
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