"you've got the devil in yuh. the curse of Jesus is coming on your sex soon." That's what a homeless guy just told me.
every time i send "do you want some cock" to her T9 manages to change it to "anal"...i think she's mad now
you thought your balls were fighting each other...
I'm gonna vom. In the dentist chair. Who makes a dentist appt for July fucking 5th.
I have no idea what happened last night, but you're the only person I remember smashing my face into. Be honored.
I want to spend time with you, and by time, I mean real time. Not your dick in my mouth time.
I am wrecking havoc on the skinny girls by going home with the big one. She is taking me to see her dog now.
Finally washing the shoe scuff marks off my front windshield :( bye bye memories
The random guy I fucked from craigslist said I had the best smile. I take compliments where i can get them
I can wear a rubber suit at three am and spank someone's ass until its sore and fuck them three ways from Sunday. And get up the next day and do their laundry. As long as once in awhile they rub my back without expecting anything
Fuck. What bets did I make about "yeah when the Cubs win the World Series" that I gotta reneg on????
So I woke and tried to get up. Then I realised my foot was stuck in the pocket of the pool table.
Like every two minutes he would pull out and whipser "don't you do it, you bastard" while looking at his penis. His new name in my phone is 'penis whisperer'
is it still considered wake n bake if you wake up at 2 pm?
So, I think my BF has slept with several of our sorority sisters
Well, now that you know, yes he has. We didn’t say anything because you seemed so happy. He’s a great guy and none of us have any hard feelings, but yeah, we’re all very familiar with his penis and it’s talents
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