Can a clitoris grow tomatoes? Its symbolic and rhetorical.
We need to rekindle our bromance
i want to have as much fun as i did last weekend. but plus the condom and minus the fear.
this girl with a french braid down the center of her head won't stop talking about the benefits of the free market. i'm hungover, bloated and haven't slept for 4 days. shut up french braid girl, shut up.
If i spent $300 & took that thing home i would hate myself today.
LSHMSFOAIDMT = laughing so hard my sombrero falls off and I drop my taco.
Getting high magically turns headaches into rainbows.
I drank enough to tranq a steed. You really missed out
There is a guy in class using a wine bottle as a water bottle. Welcome to the Faculty of Environment.
Sloppy and selfish. Your 27 and you don't know where my clit is? BYEEE
The fact that you got a stranger guy to buy you a pizza off tinder makes me feel amazing
So stoned that I pressed the unlock button on my car keys to walk into my bedroom...
I told my parents how nice the girl at the frogurt store was. I neglected to mention that I nearly lost my virginity to her via foursome.
My co-worker accidentally texted me regarding the threesome him and other one are planning.
Sharted again. Stuck in traffic. Fuck
Randomize
