Yeah I'm pretty much like lane on gilmore girls except my mom doesn't look so mean all the time.
The Lord gave Farrah Fawcett 1 wish when she died. She wished that all children in the world would be safe! The Lord granted her wish and killed Michael Jackson.
I needed to borrow my dads nail clippers and next to it was an industrial size box of condoms if that wasnt bad enough I dropped the clippers behind the bed and discovered hundreds of used condoms
From the crime scene it appears that I attempted to throw up into a candle.
You made eat vitamins until I threw up
Just because its your birthday does not mean u can play quarters by dropping quarters into cups to make me drink.
I may be a little fuzzy on this, but I think at some point I said something about being a generous lover.
Good morning! Spongebob is on channel 257 when you wake up. Help yourself to breakfast. You were great last night. See you when i get back.
He slow fucked me. Doggy style. On a porch. You never slow fuck doggy style. Its a law. A LAW.
She's an honest to god fucking ballerina. She did things I don't have names for.
As I was brushing his cum out of my hair he looks at me and says "it happens to me all the time."
Yeah she let me pull the goalie and wear my USA flag like a cape since it was the first day of the world cup
You called your ex, and talked to her for an hour about how you miss her, came back inside and asked the girl with the biggest tits if you could take a pic with your face in them and sent her the picture.
Idk what's happening right now but im wearing a tutu and pissed as fuck.
Well, if I'm gonna go gay, it's gonna be for NPH
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