lesson #67 learned in college: a three day old margarita, is still a margarita.
So I fucked that hot french guy last night
You do know he's the one who threw up on our table, right? You get to clean it up.
Fell into a man hole last night. I've been bleeding since 11pm. Got kicked out of the bar for being bloody.
The security guard told you that the room was off limits and you just looked at him and said,"Its okay, I have a beard".
Soooo how am i supposed to explain to my mom that i was admitted to the hospital but you kidnapped me within 20 minutes?
he ate me out like he was chugging a beer.
adding to the list of how to lure in freshman boys: take dogs for a walk, yell at them from across the street, sit on the curb at 3 in the morning sobbing
Please brint me miilk. I am on the floor but my door is open. Thank you, i appreciate u verry much.
How do you say happy birthday to someone you fuck occasionally that almost got you arrested? Like what do I text.
You stopped making out with some rando guy to tell him you weren't sure about your sexuality then proceeded to follow me down the street to make out with me
I think I've been there, but who knows? I drink a lot
He was so energetic. It was like screwing a bunny.
I'm sexting at my family's 4th of July BBQ and I feel no shame....
We need to know if his feet match his cock.
we've dated a week and made out twice. he is taking it slow. but his body is stupid sexy. just want him to stop respecting me and fuck me like a gutter slut. respect me later im not getting younger.
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