i went to toss her salad and she had a toilet paper clinger on one of the hairs
69 is so not fun when his penis is sporting a 70s hairstyle
Made out with me girlfriend while she was peeing. all time high, or all time low?
I was giving him a blow job in the kitchen, but it was uncomfortable. so i took the oven mitts and used them as knee pads.
Don't tell me i'm not fucking resourceful.
Whatever you do to me, stop, I found yet another blonde hair in my asshole.
You drank everything last night. It was like this huge deconstructed long island that went on for 5 hours
I actually had fun getting arrested. That high.
I don't remember what happened but judging from the contents of my pockets it had something to do with potatoes and glo in the dark condoms
I'm gonna make a mold of your dick so I can make popsicles
I told him id do anything with him and he said angry pirate? So I said okay. Never seeing him again.
What's an angry pirate?
You dont want to know. If someone offers say no. Never ever do the angry pirate. Ever.
Dude, he's legal now. You could not pry me from his dick with the jaws of life.
It's been this way for a few days. I had chick fil a on Friday so this could be an attack from the Gay Gods as punishment.
You is good. You is important. You is a slut.
I am going to paint butt plugs like little Christmas trees and give them as gifts.
You could paint cock rings as wreaths.
he sent a dick pic to my best friends phone for me cause mine died lol pretty sure he was regretting that night outta town.
Randomize
