And I know a few people wouldnt want to even be around high people. Which is sad. But jet packs are cool.
if I want to go home with a foreign boy, please feel free to let me go, sober me gives you permission to let drunken me do it
the elusive kegmastree, who's mystery is only exceeded by it's power
He kept waking up periodically throughtout the night to bit my ear and pass back out.
once you started introducing yourself as "running-bear" i knew you were beyond fucked up
My only regret is that we didn't pee on our neighbors Prius
She called my landing strip a "vagina mohawk"....
Lesbians are weird.
I don't know how we managed to stay up but we actually sat in front of her open refrigerator for god knows how long while she ate salami straight out of the package with her fingers and I laughed. It was a trainwreck.
Okay I take that back some girl just said pussy sweat. Get me outta here
Calling a preemptive no homo on tonight's activities
Also, I would just like to reiterate my apologies for tearing up in the grocery store.
I have to masturbate tonight while watching every Paul Walker movie ever made. It's what he would have wanted. RIP Paul.
Like who needs a job and family when you can get drunk for free with strippers?
Lessons learned from last night: do not leave me drunk and alone with strippers and a credit card. Let's do whatever's cheaper.
you yelled, puked and cried then passed out in the fetal position in your underwear
Randomize
