So how did finding that girl you know on GGW go?
I was so pissed when it just previews her all covered up. It would have been easier to just have sex with her
Yeah but then you would have a case of genitals gone wild
i just realized Britney Spears and I are more alike than I thought. Both of us have our parents in complete control of our lives, we both have restraining orders on previous boyfriends, and we all know both of us can put on a hell of a show
If you borrow your friends real doll, should you wear a condom?
when a 14 year old is judging you, you know you've had too much to drink
I just told my boyfriend I think I might be pregnant using Emoji icons....
which icon did you use to tell him he's not the father?
I remember now some guy came over and hit on me and poured peppermint schnapps and chocolate syrup in my mouth. Pretty sure he was dressed like Santa....
On that note if you see a hobo smiling with a pack of cigarettes and an AMP energy drink, that was my good deed for the day
I had to drink a couple beers this morning so I could attend the keg race. Hangover had to dissipate or it wasn't happening.
you took the tequila shot and then procceded to eat the lime..we told you to spit it out but you just straight face kept chomping
my question is who was more confortable? You sleeping on the floor or me tweeting from a bush?
Last night you said you were going to stop drinking and then proceeded to dip cookies in your vodka.
Sadly that explains a lot.
I just want it to be said that I had sex in my Belle dress last night. Classy motherfucker.
Just jacked in the family restroom in the hospital while eating beef jerky and looking at reddit gone wild.
I got bit by a peacock. That's how hard shit went down last night.
I'm so happy for you. But I still have to shave because a woman has needs and this woman needs an orgasm.
Randomize
