I feel like death. And death is wearing a fleece blanket as a dress. And is seriously contemplating wearing this to go get something to eat.
they say celebs die in threes. leave it to billy mays to throw in one extra COMPLETELY FREE!
We should have parties more often. I ended up with 90 beers and someone cleaned my toilet.
Playing a game in life called "how far can I make a man travel for a booty call"
I'm sorry for peeing on your door. But it was your decision to open it.
i don't know man, last time i saw her she was applying sunblock to her vagina
I'm stealing this baby.
Well I always support illegal activity but where would you put it?
I just hope when I turn 21, it doesn't tank my entire semester.
On the upside, no one went to the hospital! Lex's friend was definitely on fire at one point last night though because he tried to juggle tiki torches. He was shirtless this morning and smelled like a BBQ.
I woke up this morning with a text from my mom as to why the hell random people were showing up at the house. Turns out nobody came to our house party because I gave them my old address, fuck pre-partying for real
Also, don't forget your plan to die young at a shrooms-fueled orgy.
Can we just get drunk and watch the Birdcage please I have no tolerance for straight men today
Remind me to talk to you about nipple clamps.
Can't we just go back to fucking and having your boyfriend think you're completely straight?
Am I the only one who finds it completely appropriate to pre-game our Brazilians?
Randomize
