i mean you're really good at taking the morning after pill...so you could put that on your resume..
yeah, i think fast in a bad sitatuion and am able to react with appropriate measures
I can't believe you blew on her face.
I feel that every long term relationship needs at least one big,load delivered straight between the eyes.
If hangovers were people John Goodman would be living in my skull trying to eat the back of my eyes
he's hot he just has too much baggage, and has really fucking skinny ankles which freaks me out
you aren't having sex with his ankles, As long as knee caps and above are good, i'd go for it
my mom called me mid shot and i accidentally answered and kept calling her my own name. somehow i thought that would help the situation.
His dick is as big as my 7" heels... Awkwardness is forgotten.
I have visions of guys in cheetah costumes with suits over it pissing on a children how are you
I pulled up iMessage on my computer and I'm pretty sure two people in my class saw that dick pic you sent. Sorry!
Hey, how are you?
No. You're dead to me, you hamster stealing slutbag.
So I just watched a seagul attack my boss and steal his food in the parking lot. Today might not be a bad day lmfao.
He left me alone in a hotel room my last night in town to go home to jerk off and watch TV. So yeah, I guess we're not really friends.
so apparantly i made out with 24 santas last night...and an elf...and a stoner
I remember that. We went to taco bell looking for pizza.
It seems I've entered my 21st birthday the same way I entered this world: naked, crying and smothered in someone else's bodily fluids...
No but seriously. Just had a guy lean over and sniff my head like it was a freshly baked pie
Randomize
