after we had sex last night he told me he smelled like my vagina. and then he said that if his roommate had a vagina he would probably smell like it. because "they hug weird and shit."
I was surprised he admitted he couldnt keep up. We both knew but usually they dont come out and say it
theres so much semen in my vacuum cleaner...
She had her laptop open and there was microsoft word opend and all was written was "no italianoo"
Real friends wouldn't let me shotgun a 4loko after already seeing me trying to eat a girl out through her jeans.
I'm considering telling her about my dream where I made a sex tape with her boyfriend. you know to test our friendship
Don't worry we found her. Somehow she ended up on my roof with 2 bar stools
My vagina is depressed thinking about her future.
Yes I want to fuck your friends but it's out of respect and love for you.
His ankle bracelet went off in the middle of sex. That makes a girl reevaluate her life...
Great. Woke up in Ts room wearing one sock, a glove and a beret with a sorrority chick CLEARLY out of my league. Jose Cuervo you ARE a friend of mine.
Can you send me a picture of you not naked, my mom wants to see what you look like
#1- I went to button my shirt only to find they were all mising. #2- I'm so fu@king sore I feel like I was sweating to the oldies all night. #3- this pounding headache I have, I blame solely on Jennifer. Everyone sounds like Billy Mays when they talk. I remember nothing from last night, I'm concerned.
Man my junk looks like a mangled grapefruit right now, this shit sucks.
Now you can NEVER tell anyone that on thanksgiving I took a selfie of my pussy to prove they don't get worse with babies.
Randomize
