Last night I fell down in the street (I think in someone's vomit), cut my knee up, lost my moms necklace and my license, and had to walk back to the hotel.
Just found out I have to work new year's eve. It's like one final 'fuck you' from 2009.
Yeah! I got cockblocked by the blizzard last night. Lost girl on way to my apartment. Not a joke
Some guy said that sham wows were the same as regular shammys. needless to say you had to be restrained. you kept trying to 'slap chop' him.
using the left over highlighters from the blacklight party to study for finals. feeling the need to write insert penis here on my econ notes.
I can't cum and do my makeup at the same time.
when i spit it made a heart shape. i think it's a sign
I have just two goals for this NYE. 1) get so drunk that every guy looks like Clive Owen 2) make out with as many Clive's as possible.
After much deliberation I've decided to name my penis "Arthur", hope your mom's surgery goes well.
There's a good chance a guy sucked off my right earring last night
IF SOMEONE ASKS YOU IF YOU WANT THE GOOD DRUGS YOU SAY YES.
You went down on Rachel in front me last night. Worst. Brother. Ever.
We were banging then all I remember is coming down hard and smashing my top teeth off his forehead. I just rolled off and tapped out. Done-zo
the fact you finally accept your bi don't shock me but as your fuck buddy I expect you girls to go family style on me
Stoner thoughts are the only thoughts I want to have now.
Randomize
