I am not having having sex with guys at the moment.
I can pretend to be a girl if you want. I have a tongue.
i've counted 4 condom wrappers but only 3 condoms. not again.
Erin Andrews shaves. She also likes to check out her ass in the mirror. Of course if I had an ass like that I'd be checking it out in the mirror too.
In an effort to go green, I just used rainwater to fill my bong.
She wore that goddamn strap-on all night. When she was playing guitar hero it kept getting in the way but she just wouldn't take it off.
We made out for three hours. Then she said she didn't sleep with redheads and left the party. So yes, I'm still drinking.
While I faked being asleep, he literally prayed to God out loud, asking for forgiveness for losing his virginity before marriage.
This must be what defeat feels like to Tom Brady today. I bet he wishes he could barf up all of his bad decisions from yesterday, too.
I still think he fell and scraped his elbow and lost his credit card buying 8 hot chocolates for hobos
pretty sure tht was the guy who once went to the club dressed as waldo. he still looks weirdly fuckable.
I just got three pairs of underwear free and a bathing suit for $20 by modeling them and letting the salesman grope me a bit.
It's great being a young gay man in Chicago!
I just hope the day something happens to me my phone just dies, like literally died and will never turn on ever again. I feel like God owes me that much.
Trust no bitch in laser tag. Not a single one.
I'm so stoned. We're making Josh's sister bake us brownies. She's so small and pixie like. Her brownies make me cry tears of happy.
But what is a man profited, if he should gain Joe Biden and lose Alex Trebek?
Randomize
