I might be drunk enough to make out with you. You don't want to miss this unique opportunity.
Im dancing with my grandma to Low right now at the wedding. There's no coming back from this.
he ate 15 dinner rolls and nothing else. then took a shit in the bathroom came out and blamed it on his dad. i wish i was 8.
My farts smell like St. Pauli Girl. Last night was too much for a Monday.
I didn't think it was possible but there may actually be TOO MANY pictures of me tagged shotgunning.
i think the penis that was inside of me changed my life
Her mom walked into the garage as we were smoking a kush blunt with sombreros on.
i still can't believe we survived that barcrawl. the third bar had bullet holes and we still went in.
fuck your need to drink for whitney a thousand times last night.
Like, I just want to be naked rolling around in soft things.
No just sleep deprived. James woke me up at 7 and forced me to eat a hot pocket with him cause he " didn't want me to die".
sometimes when you're high at work you just have to say fuck it and eat the dog treats
He peed off the roof and then we bonded it was beautiful
As your friend, I promise I will drink a full bottle of vodka and belly slide down the stairs with you if that test is positive
I feel like I purchased a one way ticket to hell last night and its non refundable.
Randomize
