Ummmm I went to see who was upstairs, he was the only one in his room so we had sex while the travel channel played in the background.
Oh good. Romantic. Still, I'm jealous of the sex.
Probably not, since he made me promise not to tell anyone it only lasted ten seconds.
I'm not going to blow you while you look at fish on the internet.
the day after is always just damage control
She was narrarating everything she did.. like while making toast.
So I purposely left a bunch of metal in my pockets so that the smokin hot TSA officer would give me a pat down. Airport security just got fun
Talk about the highs and lows of a night out: had a threesome, then got robbed at knifepoint.
dude i feel like at any given point 3/5 of that family is trying to fuck you
ya, but you'll graduate college with a higher education. I'm looking at at least two addictions, an abortion, and a few weeks jail time.
If I don't come back from Italy with aids I did somethign wrong
Just saw a girl duct tape a cigarette back together..I feel like my life is shambles for being present for this
"willing to pay anyone fun whos willing to hang out and laugh at my jokes while my friends are MIA" is this to desperate?
tanning, a slurpee, and a cigarette. spa day college edition
We found him flat on his back, sobbing, 'fuck you stars' at the sky. No more everclear for Derek.
She throws back shots like they are NO-THING. I swear, she goes through like five straight tequila shots, does a jello shot, chases with half a hot dog, has a rum and coke, and then takes her shirt off and makes an impromptu bandage out of it for fuckin' Tim who cut himself on the flagpole. I'm going to marry her.
For starters i called the cops on myself for trying to destroy the ladys decorations
Randomize
