It's not real sex if he's just convulsing inside of you.
I know right? mind you this is the same woman who told me when I was 12 that oral sex just meant talking dirty
Yeah we had sex for the first time last night and all the text he sent me afterwards said was “heh”
Her eyes are really red like she jus got out of the hospital and shes coughing ...80 ppl at her school do have swine flu dude
So your saying just a blow job?
So, you didn't have time to come pick me up but you did have time to get plastered and then write "champagne money" on every one of my statuses for the past month?
My natural self cock block skills kicked in last night. I could've got on like 2 chicks but i ended up throwing up all over my van instead.
sorry he hasn't talked to me since the surprise salvia incident...
After we fucked he shhhh'd me and said your welcome
whatever. i almost had sex in a car with someone passed out in the back seat. phone's not my biggest worry.
Apparently I was so drunk I threw my entire wallet at the stripper on stage. That was the third time I should've gotten kicked out.
You can't just beat off while driving someone else's car. Thats a rule
Thats your rule and this car is nice
SEX BINGO!
Canadian or clown?
You HAVE to stop telling me about the shit you do drunk. I can't be both your brother AND your gay friend.
I don't know which is worse, the fact that his name is Kevin or the fact that he has a pornstache.
Like, my vagina is jet-lagged.
Randomize
