I like my sex mixed with concussions.
You said you wanted to go to louisiana and get arrested by Steven segal
I'm high, and her 2,100 tagged pictures annoy me even MORE. I wish it had a google searchbar so I could type in "cleavage pics" to get to the point.
Ive created a fbook group called "threesome" and invited two girls. Im not going to say a word and just see what happens.
Get to the bar. Power hour leading up to the rapture.
He hit on a bridal shower w/ his hand on my tit the entire time. Gave his number to the mom.
I wish you could see how much hot sauce and broken glass are in our apartment right now.
Told him I'd blow him in the bathroom. There was a giant window everyone was looking thru. He whipped it out n I burst out laughing n walked away. Even blackout drunk I set the bar high. You should be proud.
The next time you fuck up, your grandma sees your dick pics
There can only be one screw up per family and I was here first. Get your shit together bro
Definitely ended up doing Coke with Chewbacca in the porta potty behind the haunted house.
I remember the Prince Albert and the three penises in the threesome. But the rest no.
Just took an Adderall with Pedialyte so I think that's a valid answer to "how are you doing"
I just walked into my kitchen and my little brother is standing with his face two inches from the clock, staring at it, and eating an apple. I asked wtf he was doing and he just goes "the hour hand is moving VERY slowly".
That's why we have robots to masturbate for us
Randomize
