i have the juiciest gold medal in my pants
Dude, I would hit that so hard that whoever could pull me out would become the king of England
I've come to notice a late period isn't as exciting when you have no reason to worry
Just found a picture of a hobo making out with her tits...a HOBO
Also you were throwing your phone yelling this is durable as shit
thanks for celebrating my birthday so severely 2 years ago. i just found your hospital discharge papers in my closet.
anything for my little brother.
i'm just sitting here going through her tagged pics, covering up different parts of her face to try and figure out exactly what it is that makes her so ugly.
you pushed her into a kiddie pool and knocked out her front teeth... and you still managed to get laid. what. the. fuck.
Her brother is definitely not gay. I hooked up with him when she was sleeping.
Well on the plus side I have started adding benefiber to my bottle of wine
The name of tonight's festivities is hereby decreed to be the "Honey Boo Boo Hootenanny".
DC is easy, you will figure it out.
I'm drunk and blonde. You are wayyyy underestimating this.
He started to lick a stick of butter and was calling it Jennifer.
Next year for Halloween you can be the sword swallower, with a penis shaped sword.
All I know is that I have a black eye and an extra $200 in my wallet. Other than that, clueless.
Randomize
