What would Jesus do? ... Jesus would slap a ho.
It really wasent that hard. The male one had a M and the woman one had a W. I just couldent comprehend that at the time.
We had like 4 guys come over and buy us all drinks as an excuse to hit on Kendra. Hanging out with her is now officially fiscally responsible.
I'm buying a pregnancy test with my lunch money. Classy.
that sweater is a total boner killer. you might as well be wearing a wedding dress.
You did not just play the dead husband card again.
im so poor im using the bottom of my laptop to heat my food.
He was eating her out on the elevator. What a good man.
I'm not sober enough to be having a conversation about a rap she wrote in Spanish about public safety
the ladder is at the bottom of the pool
There's times when I just want to bottle my farts for later they're so insane.
I woke up naked in this guys bed and the first thing I start saying is it's super bowl Sunday like I was yelling
Those people that talk about exercise endorphins have never experienced a 9x13 pan of mac n cheese endorphins
Amazon is not showing any promising results for penis tree toppers and I am genuinely surprised. Clearly this is a market that needs to be addressed.
i think i puked but i couldve been a dream and i may have madeout with a 20 something guy infront of my managers...also possible dream.
Randomize
