She was so drunk that I kept trying to switch out her wine for water. Sort of like Jesus, but in reverse.
every time i get drunk at her place i end up leaving with nothing but an empty box of toaster strudels..
had to check his id this morning to remember his name.... i was wayy off
yeah that pretty much nipped itself in the bud when I realized i could see her whiteheads glowing in the blacklight
I got a message from the hook up gods today that it's time to move on. It came in the form of me being shoved in a closet naked and stuck in there for 30 min well he watched boy meets world with his brother.
Part of me really wants this picture, but the other part of me knows if he is really this drunk, he could be sodomizing a lamp and not know it
How many band members does it take to become The Band Slut? I think I might be dangerously close
Last night was so embarrassing. I got like almost blackout drunk and threw up in my hand and then blamed it on someone else.
His last name was woodcox? That just screams I've got a great penis
also my alarm just went off. I am always amused at what time drunk me decides to wake up.
You went to a drug deal in a onesie.
I saw the attitude and didn't even try. Line of the night from one guy who talked with them for a while said, "I don't meet you standards. I have a job and would treat you well." She was blank faced.
i feel as though me waking up and asking her if i went to the hospital was a sign that i was not okay
Today will be the day I throw up in my backpack in the middle of class
I was giving this fat lawyer a table dance and he asked me if I would be willing to play with his long, hard stick of the law. And you want me to stop drinking at work?
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