I sent you an email today but due to work restrictions, I had to misspell choke sex
i would never do something against you youre the best i ever had
please tell me you did not just intentionally quote drake..
franzia sundays are my new favorite holiday
Only I could do what I did last night and feel perfectly ok working around children the next day
That's cool, I just have to let the dogs out AND SO HELP ME GOD IF YOU TEXT ME BAHA MEN LYRICS WE ARE NOT FRIENDS.
Just paid my credit card bill at the bar. This phone makes it so I never have to leave
July 5th AKA Day of regret AKA picnicing in a laundromat. Someone puked allover the comforter. Liffe of champions.
Whatever you gave me is making me lactate
I just blew my weed a kiss
lets talk about you, dubstep, and a bunny suit.
I have bruises from doing the splits on the poles, if that doesn't scream bourbon street regret then I don't know what does
someone just got arrested on campus...
holy fuck look at all that cocaine
Jesus I was next level high last night having a mental epiphany about the state of Virginia
Like people our age are getting engaged, and I’m out here spooning with a giant unicorn I bought at Walmart on Black Friday.
i dont know how or why im in the gym right now, but theres a hot cop, a guy i hook up with, and his hot friend. this can only lead to every fantasy i ever had.
Randomize
